Sleeping is bliss , and blisser thy shall be when you have a naked chick lying next to you. I guess Einstein proposed theory of relativity after sleeping with a chick and decided to lie to his audience. So much for Science never lies eh ?

9.00 am :

A pendulum clock is irritating. Particularly when its bells go Gong Gong every hour. Add to that a hangover. That's like an ideal combination for a really really sad start to day's play . More like how indian cricket team plays on foreign turfs on day1. Disaster would be an euphemism.

10.00 am :

Mumbai is a dope sellers' paradise. The city is filled with urine filled streets give you the normal guys , a nauseating smell which actually is a major turn on for peddlers. I went into Jimmy's for a refill . The place was mobbed by people. Monday is the start of the week. Fresh faces go to office . Productivity is more according to scientists.But, I didnt' know the weed business was part of the monday morning blues! Jimmy was acting like Mr. Bill gates of Microsoft trying to push more on a few innocent peddlers . Steve Jobs probably modeled apples' supply chains based on this guy . He had 85% Mumbai covered with his green magic! I waited for the crowd to recede before making a buy. I decided to move in big . With the monsoon season coming in , I had to stock up good .


5.00 pm :

Juhu beach was slowly becoming my area of control . I had the college men stoned pretty much for the better part of their evening.I was more or less an innocent face in the crowd , not many eyes noticed me . It did make my job easier.....until.......

The Mortetti's guide to Galaxy

" Yeah Yeah " came Ushers' voice out of the blaring speakers . I walked in,step by step ,feeling the air like a movie star minus the tuxedo.The bar was not all that bad.People were proving why mankind is the most desperate of the lot.The lucky ones danced with the chicks and the unlucky ones with the ones with fewer holes.

Assoles they say put their hands up in the air and announce their presence .The room was filled with plenty of those(no pun intended).Black people with white chicks,white with brown , brown with brown . The place was a racists' haven.I started my search.To put it in Paulo Coehlo's words I was looking for the 'light' on any girl.

The fragrance of hers filled up my nostrills leaving me craving for more.As she whizzed past me,her hair's tantalizing aroma just jolted the little Romeo inside me from his long slumber.My visit to neverland was cut short with the smell of dead pigs (I realized Parekh might have just entered the bar or the street . )

Don Juan De Marco might not have been really proud of me.For I rehearsed lines to ask a prostitute out for bed.Forgive me Don Juan.I finally went next to her , smelt her again and realized that the smell must have been the neighbouring lady's.I had seen a fair share of Hollywood movies to know what exactly to do now.But before I could separate my lips to let out a few words . " Are you gonna ask me , whether I can buy you a drink or shall I take it for granted " she said. "Thanks.What shall I get you ? " .(This place was literally a sty.All they had was local stuff.Hollywood movies misguided you in some cases.)

"I am Mike" I said feeling like a porn star shooting for his next hunt." Jessy" came the reply. Avoiding any more hackneyed phrases and lines I went to the 'job' part of the deal . " Mine or do you have something in mind ? " "Yours....."

We entered my apartment through the creaking door and all the mice stopped playing hide and seek and set out for their holes.I could almost hear them cursing.Sorry guys,it is my night today.I took her to the bed,not the most romantic of the lot."Wham Bham Thank you maam" didnt' deserve much more than this.


half an hour later....

I picked up my sheets and slowly turned to the other side . I had lasted more than eleven minutes(Fuck you Paulo Coehlo). End of days had come 200 years earlier.

"Amazing" I said.

"Come again"came the reply.

"Hold on for two more hours , and I will " I said pulling the sheets closer.

" Oh really?How sweet" replied Jessy.(Salty rather)

Jessy was a hot name. I dont' know how names are hot.But they kind of ring a bell in you.Ring THE bell. Jessy Alba,Jessy Jane. Pretty hot names uh?

and just in case I didnt' mention she fell in that category.

Puffs of green smoke and we are back!!!!

Green Fairy is the closest thing to heaven on earth,except a nude Megan fox of course . What did all the religious texts preach? Multiply Happiness.Precisely what I did. Juhu beach needed some entertainment and it could do pretty well with some drugged mumbaikars.

The one thing about them is however drugged they are , they bathe regularly.Gujjus dont'. Lessons learnt hard tend to stay on forever. Parekh was my assistant in the business and he was as dumb as a stick .In short he was a complete package of stupidness wrapped in a really fat Seth body.God must have spent considerable time creating this one,because he was as dumb as Britney spears and as irritating as Ricky Ponting.. I was pretty sure a retarded cockroach could outwit him.But nothing,I stress nothing can beat his stench.Even my unwashed toilet pan couldn't.

We found an arcane location to put ourselves up along with the leaves and we smoked up all night long till my brains worked slower than a Pentium 1 machine. We generally hit the road at around 3pm - 4 pm when the crowd starts moving in gradually into Juhu . We used the Ville Parle entrance(it had less of police) and hung around till we spotted people who bought the stuff.

And things were on cruise mode till.......

Partners inc.

"Michael" I said stretching my hands to the guy oppsite to me.He was a bit tall,clean shaven with his hair trimmed properly.His eyes were piercing and had some sort of fire in them.
"Jimmy" he said shaking my hand.Wonder from where people rechristen themeselves like this.Names like Jimmy , Tommy are meant for dogs or pets in a broader prespective.
" JuJu told me about you.He has kind of vouched for you,lets say.So how much can you push?"offering me a cigarette which I accepted.
Is this group supposed to be the mafia or some sort of veterinary operation gang.Juju ?He must have felt like a dog throughout his life.
"Around a kilo a week to begin with.Maruijiana preferably.If that is O.K. with you ofcourse" I said keeping face impassive.Unemoted face can be a major asset when you were dealing with people like these.
" One Kilo?Thats cool with me."he said ,signalling the guy to get the stuff for me.I adjusted myself in the chair and took a deep puff.It was my moment of reckoning afterall.
The packet arrived and I welcomed it with both hands,trying hard to hide my excitement.
" Ill get back to you in a few weeks I guess"stretching out my hands.It was going to be a long partnership afterall..

@ the station,yet again!

"Let me get this straight.You screw it up or try to run away,you will be punctured by bullets.Do you understand ??"trying to sound arrogant.
I was expecting a "chilling" line like the Corleone's in the GodFather,but it was a disappointing threat.That was the most cliched line I have come across.Dude,Copy from the movies properly,and by the way you forgot the "Gun on my Forehead Part".

As I was trying to get some portion of my ass in the trade,I nodded my head in complete agreement,puffing casually as I took the packets from him.

20:25 , Dadar Railway Station

It was crowded like hell.To search for one soul here was like searching for an albino pigeon.You are almost fucked .I moved around searching for him slowly.There was a sea of people . Trains arrived and departed every third minute,which resulted in irritatingly high density of people per square feet.Trobules were trebling every passing minute as I scanned the crowd slowly.I spotted him,clad in black without the hand,the details matched.Our eyes met for a fraction of a second and that was more than enough.We moved towards each other swiftly ,my eys completely following each action of his.My hands moved across my pocket ,just to check the gun .We passed by , completing the trade in less than a minute .My hands feeling the stack of bills ,a smile just popped up on my face..The Deal was On..

Where do we start??

Sitting down on the couch,he offered me a cigarette.He had asked me to bring a sample of the coke I had ,it was in my pocket.We did a little and admired the quality .We then shifted focus to business.Ten minutes was going to decide my future.
"Reddy" he said reaching out his hand.(Fuck!!Gulti??Damnit!)
"Mike,Michael " shaking his hands.
"So this stuff ,where did you get it"
"Is this part of the business???"I shot back rather frustrated with his nosy questions.
"Chill man..Chill.. I have no problems with this pack.I am looking for a long term thing.Maruijana ,Coke.The cops will fuck us here totally if we are caught..So thinking still.?"directly into the business.

" I can do it if you want "jumping at the oppurtunity .

" How can I trust you??I mean who are you mate??.Don't expect me to be that dumb" was the reply


" Cool it.."It was my turn to cool him down.."We can have a try.Gimme a a pack.Will do it for you. I fuck the cops and get it done..We have a deal.Done?" Words came out at hurriedly.I wanted this badly.This was big money.No more urinated street corners and crappy places..

" Hmmm..Ok...Probably" he blurted.

"Where do we start???"

Welcome to the world..

He seemed to buy the story,but I knew I had to be fucking careful otherwise my intestines will be plucked and used as a memento.And common,I wanted a fair enough death.I didnt' give a fuck about all the Sins I did , and about what i am going to do.I had three meals a day,my stomach didn't complain.I lived in a world of my own.

04.15 am,the next day

The guy arrived.He was short with a pointed nose and not that clean shaven.I dropped the cigaratte and walked towards him.He wanted to buy that stuff,I was keen on moving it further.I pushed the deal further and told 50% cut and I join him.He looked at me cautiously doubting me if I was a cop.Hell,I came out of nowhere and suddenly handing him two kilos of coke,you are bound to get suspicious.I swore that I wasnt' a cop and got on the veichle.It was a Maruti Van ,( the movies were real!!!)They blindfolded me,and I went on cursing them.The driver was on a rampage sparing no time for the veichles on the opposite side.I could hear horns being romped incessantly.And then the veichle halted,slowly I began to suck in the atmosphere.It was pretty eerie,I was looking around like a lost child.I had just publically put my life for sale.And I entered the bar, looked around for signs of life.No one.I repeated the F word thrice mentally hoping for a change.Swalloing a huge chunk of saliva, I stepped inside the world .The world of MAFIA.

Acquistion,Anyone?

04.00 am,

My eyes were burning.Hell it was early morning 4 am man!!To be interrupted while sleeping is one of the most devastating things in Planet Earth.And for watching some sick bastard walk the street to drop some white crap, is like listening to Himesh Reshmmiya sing,that too when you are stressed out..I got up,dressed myself and lit a cigarette and walked to the street end.It was pretty dark,and I had this familiar feeling of watching a Horror movie.But fortunately,the sound effects were minimal.There was no water dripping from the pipes , and most importantly there was no dog howling and growling.I sat down by the road side,waiting for the person to arrive.

04.15 am,

Two guys walked to the shop and handed the man some stuff.Immediately I walked upto them.And out of nowhere they pulled their guns and pointed at me.

"Wait!" I screamed not realizing that it was stupid to ask for a break when they are trying to kill you.The Shopkeeper told the guys something and they didn't fire.I was intact still.

I told them about my possession of Coke and if they were interested in getting it.Obviously they weren't dumb enough to say "Yes Sir,We love Coke",they threw "Who the Fuck is he" look.
Almost immediately I blurted out " I came into hiding coz of the cops @ Madras.I was a trafficker there".

"Will talk to you tommorow ,same time ,same place" one of them replied


There goes my sleep again!

Information is wealth

My toilet Flush occupied Primetime in my Brain,as the sight of it (not a pleasant one at all!) crossed by me again.It has been two weeks and I hadn't taken any significant steps towards making some Serious money using that.It was getting pretty dark and as I walked past the Shop in my street corner,an idea struck me.I was pretty desperate to make some cash(That company thing just dropped in and said Hello).I moved to the shopkeeper and asked him for 'Maal',and tried to strike a conversation.It was pretty tough,given my Hindi was sounding Greekish to him.I couldn't blame him for that!

"Eh maal bahuth acha hai" I knew these Acha lines properly since I had rehersed just in case I ran into some hot chick.Complimenting her by saying,"aapka voice bahuth acha hai" would be one hell of a start!

The nod was pretty gentle,which I assumed to be a "Yes.and please get the Fuck out of here".Very very kind.To have a please word before the F word is way too gentle.

"Kahan se mila"I asked him sounding hopeful of a reply

Ten Minutes later,I was on my way back home giving hi fives to invisible hands stretching out to me.The train is waiting....

DreamLand...

I was unconscious of the fact that my mouth had become a new shelter for the Mosquitoes.I had them opened for so long,that the' mozzies' went into my oesophagus,clearly assuming it to be some sort of play ground.I spit it out,slowly regaining my senses.Hell! There was atleast 3kgs right in front of my eyes!I knew I was in a mess. My eyes refused to come back to normalcy.It didn't require a Ramanujam to figure out that there was a fortune in there.Almost instantly,my mind shifted to the section I loved most,Dream Land....The best part of Dream Land were the girls,and boy they came in huge numbers,clad in the earliest costume known to Mankind (:D).And most importantly,they were HOT.(Yeah ,H-O-T).

Its the only place on earth where :

(a)You want to be the catcher,in a game of Running and Catching.

(b)Even physics lessons turn out to be miraculously interesting.(The Law of equality holds good in DL!)

(c)And you are in total concentration.

The suit case closed on my hands ,Ouch!! My stay@ Dreamland was cut short by the grey coloured "SOB".I was still unsure of what to do with my new acquisition(Like I had acquired Land Rover or something).The returns were huge if I get into the game.But the risks were bigger,and anyways I didn't want to die a virgin!
I moved the suitcase to a safer location in my apartment.(there were only 2 rooms,and the bathroom wasn't inhabited by the rats).I didn't want my house to be filled with Drugged Rats.Not my fault,if they do,cause the Bastards don't smell it before they nibble.How on earth can a living being eat up a man's trousers which haven't been washed for two months??
I took it to the highest location possible in my room,the flush doesn't work in the toilet,and I stuffed the packets inside it.

Clearly,this was too much for my mind to handle,but at the same time Called for Celebration!!!I took a ten rupee note,and stuffed some into it. Slowly I was flying back to Dreamland where the grass is green and girls were pretty.....

The Swap

The corner of the street was occupied by two heavily built men ,clad in a black casual attire.One of them,glanced at the watch and shook his head.Very easy to make out that he was in disgust.Another walked into the scene with a suitcase .He looked a bit old , vertically challenged and tensed.Drenched in sweat , he breathed out heavily.

"Twenty Minutes late,We were getting worried.Where the Fuck where you?" the guy in black asked.

" The train ran a bit late.Besides I should be the one complaining.Tough to dodge them every time. And with a tag of 10k around me,every God damned money sucking bastard in this city is looking to nail me down.The moustache gets irritating and my wig itches a lot! Trafficking is no easy joke , dear" almost immediately removing his moustache and wig to complete his transformation. He appeared feminish ,yet possessed voice that boomed.

"We don't have much time do we?? " he remarked as the suitcase switched hands.
"Pretty light.Do you have it??"

"If the notes are real, yes." came the reply.They didn't get along with each other ,the frequent transactions did their rapport little good.

" Guess, I won't be seeing you for sometime to come....Adios" the man said pulling out his gun and firing ,almost immediately.

The bullets sank right into the little man's forehead.

Inside the mind....

I continued to walk rather rapidly,yet composed manner to avoid any suspicions.Holding the suitcase tightly in one hand,I decided to take a puff.The smoke was helping me cool down and wash out any signs of nervousness.The case was pretty heavy and I was hoping I had struck something big.I caught a bus , and just for the sake of tradition(Tradition alone),took two wallets into my custody.Good old times rock baby!Of late, I had stepped on the gas a little bit,and was sure that if i continue in the same path,I would have a tag round my neck that said"SUITCASE SNATCHER" like "BISCUIT BANDITS".I hate being stereotyped, hence kept switching lines often.There was no BIBLE in this profession,yet there were certain minimum tasks that you had to complete like say, flicking wallets before you move on to bigger things..It was like learning alphabets before words.Not a theorem,but an axiom.!I was an amateur in this profession,I had to admit it,yet I was moving gradually up the ranks."This is for my company"I said to myself.What a lie that turned out to be!That was two weeks earlier.And after that , 2800 rupees in cash,two credit cards,four pounds of gold,three of silver and seven wrist watches.Hell! I have a market out here!!

Mankind has always fallen prey to greed.History is filled with examples,yet we never learn!I was no different,justifying the fact that I was a homosapien!

I took the last turn and almost by impulse my leg stopped .The shop was drawing me towards it! Damn..It doesn't hurt to try..Does it??I opened my apartment door, sat down and opened my suitcase.....

It was full of White powder.

All in a day's work!

The worst part of being on a high is the landing part.Thud!!All the bottomless wells,the endless seas and the angel with the wings carrying you up end and it takes around 15 minutes to realize that you were born human!I dragged myself to the washroom to clean up and boy ! I was looking Fu**ed up! I could feel my stomach barking and I searched the house frantically for left overs ,hoping that I would outsmart the rats in the hunt.I mustered up enough energy to get ready for another days' work.

9.30 am,

I helped myself to a copy of the "Indian Express".Yes , I am a thief,but a literate one though.After all , there were Bigger thieves out there,only difference they are licensed and I wasn't.And they wipe out the earnings of a billion people,I restrict myself to a negligable % of the lot.Like the Pulitzer's for the authors,Oscars for the actors,it was Politics for the Robbers.Like all faithful students,I aspired to be one among them!.
I boarded the train , and looked at the hour's probables.Hell Yeah! There were a few of them and I decided to pull up the oldest trick of them all.For a crowded city like Mumbai,I always wondered what's wrong with the people.How on earth do I stumble across a minimum of 10 people everyday carrying the same VIP alpha suitcase?(Yeah,the grey coloured ones,they show on ads).And one thing I love in the city ,are the crowded trains.They make your job simple and opens up a window of Oppurtunities!I zeroed in on my Kill,(like a murderer) kept my suitcase beside his and waited for the stop to arrive.As always there was a sea of people entering the train.There was a lot of pushing and pulling(Like in the 'd' box during a freekick:) ) and I decided to cash in on my oppurtune moment.I completed the switch and got out with the crowd.The even better part of Mumbai was the crowds never reduced !

The Stop @ the shop

"Dada,ek cigarette packet dho " I told with my broken hindi(Give me two cigaratees).."Kaunsa Brand" came the reply..."Silk cut"I blurted..Well bigger brands would burn a hole in my wallet,rather set it on fire.. I was lighting the cigarette , man came to the shop and whispered to the old man for something in Marathi. ..I was reading him ,brown hair,black eyes , ruffled hair.I could guess he was in his late 30's. I took out the cigarette from my mouth @ which point came a packet filled with a white substance which took me by complete surprise..Surely,not!!

He left rather hurriedly and I asked the shop keeper for the same thing.I managed to tell him with my S!@t hindi that I wanted the same.He was a little cautious , but I assured him I was in no way related to the cops.In fact I hate them(hey! i am a robber!).I stuffed it into my pocket and rushed to my home..

@ Apartment..(E) Malad , Mumbai....

I opened the packet and observed it.(.Maybe I should try it..Maybe Not..Common trying is not gonna hurt..Besides life is meant for experimenting.)I was utterly confused and missed my gray matter dearly....Divided between the two opinions,I decided to try..Experimenting,is afterall the essence of science..And we live in a world of Science...
I emptied its contents on a paper....I poured the tobacco from the cigarette and filled it with the powder....I lit it up and inhaled.......It was a feeling of floating in mid air...All my problems seemed to vanish in thin air..And there I was shining amongst the stars,intoxicated.I was sinking into a bottomless well....

The Apartment

The Sun was preparing to bid adieu to the town of Mumbai ..I was taking a break from my hectic schedule (Hell , its a mind blowing profession) ..Cigarettes weren't my favourites ,but i had no other better work to do,so decided to create a few rings up the air..I had become accustomed to the smoke drilling through my throat and nose .It isn't what you exactly call intoxicating,yet it managed to make a person beg for more.
I started for my place,that was not exactly in the best of locales,yet there was something about it,which made me take the apartment.It was on the second floor,in the slums of Mumbai , dimly lit and with such a serene atmosphere that you could hear the clock ticking every second...

Maybe it was the isolation which had appealed to me or the darkness or maybe both.Whatever it was, I had managed to rent a decent(so called Decent) apartment on my own,with "MY" money.

I strolled through the slums listening to the screams of women in the neighbourhood screeching at their children , and the men snoring along the platform.It was yet another day in the lives of these people,a happy family they were,poor yet contended...

Greed had set inside me.The lust for money was larger than ever now...Satisfaction was becoming a peak too high to scale..I was prepared to risk my life to earn that extra penny more,and I could sense the change..

The 'S' route

The three coins were in front of me,they had reversed my fortunes(though 3 rupees can never be regarded as Fortune in your wildest of imagination..).Well if one rupee could reverse Rajini Kanth's fate in Sivaji,the movie (The villain gives him a one rupee coin , which our hero tosses horizontally,read HORIZONTALLY.But I do have to admit the fact,I enjoyed the coin getting flipped horizontally and yeah Vertically too)why can't it if not reverse ,atleast move it by say a few degrees!

I bought a blade for 50 ps , bun and a cup of tea.When the first piece of the bun , passed through my throat, i could feel my stomach expanding itself for its first prey in the last two days..What a feeling!!!!Better than anything in this whole damn world(..Read anything and Everything..yeah u got it right EVERYTHNG..)

I decided to kick start my new job , and went to the bus stop ...A crowded bus approached and set the conditions conducive for the first hit.I caught it and stood on the foot board, where in i got my first catch..Being a novice , didnt' help my cause either as i was struggling hard to maintain my footing..( I was loosing balance ,since i was shivering).I got down at a signal and ran for cover..Realizing that something was wrong,the guy turned back,but by then I was long gone..Thank you buddy!!
And Blimely!, what a start...368 bucks...I pinched myself just to prevent another heavy fall..(Ouch!!That hurt!)...S for (e) SCAPE!

Along came '"Nobody"

Still reeling under the clutches of the Hunger God , i struggled my way past the people , my legs still shivering due to the lack of energy, i lied down by the road side..My stomach grumbled ,my brain succumbed to the pressures , and refused to think..A one rupee coin was lying a little away from me and my eyes lit up at the sight of it.....

It was @ that very instant , my life took another turn(at least i assumed it would)...I rose up in pursuit of the one rupee coin ,@ which point another man was bending to take it,I didn't know what happened at that second,whether desperation had reached a new zenith or Food God showed the green signal , i flicked his wallet and ran off..To be frank, Asafa Powell would have been very pleased with my running skills, I ran for my life ( quite literally) ..I was expecting screams and screeches and of people chasing me, but nothing of such sorts happened, wherein I realized cinema had influenced me way too much..I took a series of lefts and rights and When i was sure that there weren't any Police , I opened my prized capture..It was a ravishing sight , two hundred bucks till i crashed into reality once again!...

The purse was practically empty except for a dozen papers and three rupees.....(teri ma ki...)I was cursing him so much that i was sure he would be a blind lizard without a leg...So much for my ambitions of striking it rich..

Under the care of platform....

My stomach was grumbling, it has been 14 hours since i last ate and here i was searching for sleep @ the very same railway station...My eyes moved around...Parents scolding their children, sellers taking a break after a hard days' work,my heart was getting heavier..i turned around contemplating on how to survive the next day.....It was a cruel twist of fate....I turned around,trying to forget that i was hungry,trying to put behind me the horrible happenings of the day...

9.30 am,

Clutching my stomach,i screamed in pain..It was excruciating...I moved on .... It was tough,but i had no other choice...The streets were mean as ever , and trying hard to balance myself ,i started the hunt for Food....I saw myself in a mirror along the road side...drained of colour, energy and enthusisam,i cut a sorry face...I pitied myself.......

THe coin Flips....

With a sudden burst of energy i rose up..My eyes were still begging for a shutdown,with a feeling of being drugged i got up ,and the first thing i noticed my pocket was weightless..Good God..there goes my 45 bucks and...my watch:O..gone....Penniless..Not a Penny more,nothing to go lower than this!
And the harsh reality smacked me hard on my face....The Almighty had let me down,once again..Shell shocked , i managed to get up and keep my footing..The curious on goers cast a casual look and started whispering among themselves..I dusted my pants and moved on..I wanted to scream scream and keep on screaming till my anger subsides , but i realized there were better things to do than screaming..Frustrated, i moved on ,knocking on every door that appeared to be of a shop's and begging them for help...Every one refused...Some shut the door on me,some shooed me away as if i was a dog,some gave a firm No,some a polite one...The end result was the same everytime, a NO...

The two sides of a coin...

9.30 am,

Time to move on..Another 12 hours to go..I hated this business style mathematics..and them being associated with life...It was a total disaster according to me...But i had no other choice...There were no familiar Michael screams from my mother and no more buses to board,no more familiar "sorry maam' excuses"Life had almost taken a 180 degree shift..I moved out of the station,greeted by the familiar hoots of the hawkers and the vegetable sellers,and the taxi drivers pestering the travelers..Drained of all energy i walked past them and into the sea of people ..The streets were getting meaner by the day and i pulled by a tea shop to have my breakfast....

The weight of my pocket was getting lower day by day,and for the first time in my life i was getting tensed...

Slightly shaken by the developments over the past few days,I moved forward...Thats the last thing i remembered....